by Debra | Nov 7, 2016
What is your assignment in this lifetime? Explore it in a personal retreat!
Do you believe you are here for a reason? Do you think that the reason is very specific? We all have a specific assignment here. It could be in the field of medicine, real estate, art, food, politics, or raising our children. Whatever the assignment is, we know it to be ours. But that assignment can change over time, and it’s important to be able to recognize the pull in a new direction and to take heed.
“My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.”
―Jack Kerouac
When I was 30, I worked for an alternative radio station and the benefits person there said to me that I always thought the grass was greener on the other side. And I said to her that it was, because for me, it always was. I was always seeking to be better and if that meant moving out of one area of my life and into another, then so be it. If I never made changes, I would have never come into my passion and what I believe to be my core assignment, helping people shift their lives through looking at their fear and Ego mind.
Within our assignments, our actions are very important to the world and our smaller community around us. So, first realize that maybe being a mother is your assignment, and then be the best version of this that you can be. So no matter what you are doing at this moment, do it with all you have. Be the best mother, real estate broker, speaker, mentor, etc. that you can possibly be.
When I go into a restaurant and the server is really engaging and really good at what they do, I know that person is taking their assignment seriously. Maybe their assignment in this life is to be pure love and joy regardless of the specific task. It is a different experience when a server is in a bad mood serving me. It affects my experience. So if the server is passionate about the job and delivers that passion into our dining experience, it leaves me with love in my heart. Otherwise, it leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. Of course, I can choose to not take the nastiness personally, but it still changes the environment.
It’s good to know what our assignment is, and then to know that we have a choice to affect others in either a positive or negative way.
by Debra | Nov 1, 2016
Learning the Importance of keeping your vibration high in a personal retreat.
Sometimes, our beliefs can work against us. Shifting these beliefs can increase our quality of life and our vibration many times. In an individual retreat, I teach how to shift those beliefs. And why is this so important? If you buy into a belief system that makes you suffer, it will keep you, your quality of life, and your vibrations down.
As an example, during the past couple of weeks, one of my core beliefs has been testing me. The core belief is, “Life is hard”. I have recently been left with a non-working phone and a new phone that won’t sync with my computer, among a host of other computer issues. At first, I began to get frustrated, but then, I realized what was happening. I was buying into the core belief of life being hard, and I knew it was high time for me to change that.
Now that I have changed that core belief, in spite of the fact that my technology continues its annoying behavior, I am breathing easier and saying to my Ego/Little Girl, “This is just life, and what a great opportunity to practice my patience and see things from my higher self.” Life doesn’t feel hard anymore, rather, it feels good because I am shifting low vibrational beliefs.
This process works with any situation, person or thought that disrupts our bliss. Triggers are here for a reason, to show us where we can grow so we can heal and vibrate at a higher level. Our goal in this lifetime is to evolve and be able to make a difference in the world. If we are stuck in our own mess, we can’t be of service. When
our vibration is low, we attract more low vibrating experiences, placing us in a rut and causing us to be in a life we aren’t enjoying.
We want to vibrate at a higher level for a few reasons:
- Our body will feel better and have better health
- Pure enjoyment, not anxiety
- We create more passionately
- We attract higher vibrational situations to us
- We participate in the world by being more positive
Check in with yourself daily, even hourly, to see where your vibration is at any given time. If you are triggered, work at shifting to get back into alignment. If you are looking for help because you don’t quite know where to start, an individual retreat or mentoring might be a great place to start.
by Debra | Oct 17, 2016
How can we find our passion and live it?
Are you living in joy and passion? Are you breathing life into your soul? Many adults find that this is not the life they are leading.
Some of the biggest issues I see with my clients is that they are working in jobs they hate, staying in relationships out of fear and don’t believe they can create a life that is exciting and full of passion, and so they end up settling into a life of dull existence. If you aren’t happy, you are the only one who can examine your life and determine the cause. You are the only one who can make your life boring or exciting.
A friend of mine told me that when she used tell her parents she was bored, they would reply, “If you’re bored, then it’s because you’re boring.” Isn’t that the truth? If I’m creative, I’ll find something fun to do. It’s the same with feeling less passionate. If I don’t feel passion, then it’s up to me to create a more passionate life.
One reason for feeling lifeless is when we find ourselves in a dead end job. Another source of frustration is being in a relationship that is stagnant. Or maybe you simply don’t give any energy to being creative. I notice in my own life, when I’m painting or taking photos, it excites me. I also notice that when I give back, I get a tremendous sense of pleasure which helps me lead a more passionate life.
Come find your passion in a retreat!
Another reason we might feel lifeless is not being connected to our higher self and source. Sometimes, if we feel separated and disconnected, we become sad and depressed. When we are depressed, it’s hard to step up and feed our passions and nurture ourselves and our relationships.
If you find yourself in this position, first and foremost, look at your spirituality and connection to source. Then, take an inventory of your life and what you want to change in it that will create a desire and craving that leads to passion. Look at all areas of your life and see what needs to shift. It’s impossible to live a full, exciting life when we feel dead inside.
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” —Nelson Mandela
by Debra | Oct 10, 2016
How can we see through our fear? Sometimes it seems so big!
Fear can be totally debilitating. It can stop you dead in your tracks. Finances, relationships, careers and health can all be a bit overwhelming. One of my greatest fears has always been finances. Money is always expanding and contracting as clients come and go. I used to worry that I would never get another client, lose my house, starve to death and die. Sounds a little extreme, but that is where my Ego mind would take me. My Ego mind/Little girl would take me all the way down the rabbit hole to the most negative places imaginable.
As I have grown, I have come to understand that this physical world is an illusion and that I am a spiritual being who is capable of learning from my physical experiences. I can thus lean into Source instead of my Ego, even though my Ego will continue to challenge me on occasions. This is where my daily practice comes in handy. If I wasn’t practicing daily and staying connected to my higher self and Source, my Ego mind could have its way with me.
To move through fear, one must first understand it. Understanding our fears gives us power, and only then can we learn from it. Fear says things like: You’re not safe, you can’t do it, it’s too hard, you won’t make it, etc. Fear is full of worry, uncertainty, and anxiety. Fear without understanding leaves us powerless.
The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.
Gandhi
Whenever we fear unnecessarily, we are acting out of the wounded little girl and we will repeat old patterns. It’s only when we move into the space of our higher self, Love, that we create the life we want. It’s impossible to live a courageous life filled with possibilities when you live in fear.
In my personal Women’s Retreat, you will learn how to recognize and understand the fears you are living with and be able to transform your life. Ask yourself what the most important thing in your life is and how you could create it. Most women I know want to create a life full of passion, happiness and fulfillment. If this is a life you want, call me and set up your FREE consultation and see if my Personal Women’s Retreat is right for you.
by Debra | Oct 3, 2016
Do you sometimes feel like a hamster on a wheel when it comes to communicating with your Partner? Coming to a couples retreat in Sedona might be right for you!
How do you create intimacy in a relationship where two people are very different in their approach to communication? Men and women naturally tend to relate differently. Women are more emotionally biased while men are more practical and apt to be a problem fixer. When issues arise in a relationship, a women’s emotions might be in play more. Talking about her feelings will generally help her feel better. Men lean towards finding a solution and solving the problem.
If both parties can move towards the middle with the intention of trying to understand how the other person is viewing the situation, an equally acceptable resolution could be much more likely. Although talking about problems may make many women feel better, this places the responsibility of her feelings on her partner. Sometimes this can take hours and maybe days! It’s not your partners job to make you feel better. It’s your job to listen to your Ego and discover the source of your suffering. Understanding that the answer lies within you and not your partner could help free you from many long and unproductive discussions.
Men’s desire to handle the problem in a practical, problem solving, non-emotional manner may leave the woman feeling unheard or misunderstood. You can see where the issues are with these totally different ways of communicating.
We should first do our own work to understand what triggers us, what our Ego says about it, and how we aren’t going to buy into what our Ego views as truth. Then go to your partner with a better understanding of yourself and the part your Ego plays in your triggers. Your partner will be more likely to listen, more able to see his part and maybe more willing to do work around that.
If you put the issue on him, he may think he did something wrong and go into fix-it mode or he may simply deny his part. Just own your part, do your work around it and then go to your partner with your process. Don’t go to your partner thinking they will make you feel better. This is a trap for you and a trap for him. If you are truly doing your work here and you really want to become self actualized, you have to stop projecting and start owning. Then and only then will you and your partner be able to come together and grow.
by Debra | Sep 26, 2016
A great place to tackle your Ego mind is in a Sedona Soul Retrieval Retreat!
Do we have control over our Ego mind? It’s always so bazaar to me that I have something inside of me, my mind, that I don’t seem readily able to control. When insecurities come up that trigger us, we start acting out of this unconscious part of our self. Then, when we start recognizing that we are acting out, we may feel shame and beat our self up. If we remain in our Ego state, we will repeat the actions over and over.
What a vicious cycle we are in if we can’t stop acting out of the Ego mind. The process begins with being triggered and unconsciously acting out of the lower self. We do not even realize that we are triggered. Once we recognize this, we may still be unable to prevent the acting out of the lower self. However, as we continue to recognize the Ego in action, we have the ability to catch it and stop its progression. The more we slow down our minds and actions, the better chance we have of catching the sneaky Ego and not taking the actions it wants us to take.
The more we ask for help in this area, the more triggers will come because the universe wants to give you all the practice you need to heal that wounded place and stop acting out of that wounded space. Without the practice in a concentrated time, we wouldn’t learn. If our triggers only come every so often we are less apt to get the learning. So even though it’s not that much fun to be in a triggered state for an extended period of time, it forces us to pay attention which is a necessity to learn and move on.
As much as I do this work for others, I am always humbled when I am reminded that I am also on this path of self-actualization just like you. When I get hit hard with it, I really have to be careful not to go into shame and beat myself up. I then have to practice compassion and love for this wounded part in me. If we don’t stay awake, a lot of this can slip right by us and the lessons go unlearned and missed. But not for long, because they always come back around and maybe the next time with more fury!
by Debra | Sep 19, 2016
How does your relationships play a part in choosing love over fear?
If you’re brave enough, you will tackle your Ego mind through your current primary relationship. I use the word bravery because you have to be willing to look at all that dark stuff we don’t like to admit is in us.
I’m always excited at what a relationship teaches me about myself. It shows me where my limits are, where I am holding back love because of fear. In a relationship, we get to explore our woundedness, and it’s not always pretty! But when we shine light on the darkness, we can shift it. If we pretend it isn’t there, we can’t see it, and therefore, we can’t change it. Ignoring it is basically lying to ourselves and causes us to be out of alignment. It takes courage to hold yourself accountable for your actions.
Even when a relationship ends, there is a lot to look at. The main thing is to look at the part we played and to move away from what they did. It’s important to stay away from fear and to stay with your learning. This may be difficult, but it’s a great tool in helping to learn how to stop listening to the Ego mind.
Every time we choose to stay out of our little girl or Ego mind, we are capable of being with Love. If we are acting out of our little girl or Ego, we can only come from fear, and if we are coming from fear, we block the flow of love. Love can’t come to us or through us, and this is such a shame because all we really want in life is to love and be loved, to be connected to the whole, and to be a part of something greater than oneself.
If I am living in the spiritual realm instead of the physical, it’s easy to give and receive love. If my Ego mind is hard at it, I am full of fear. And if fear is present, love isn’t. So it is my daily practice to always observe where fear is present in me so I can shift it to love.
Utilize your current situation, whether you are in a relationship or not, to look at your limits around love and how you are acting out of your Ego.
by Debra | Sep 12, 2016
What does it look Like to be one with the universe and others?
If we look at our life on this physical plane, with our material things and our physical bodies, it appears that we are all separate. I get up in the morning in my own body and can’t feel other people’s bodies. I wake up in my own home and can’t see into other people’s homes. So everything in the physical, three dimensional world certainly points to me being separate. But if I look at my life through my spiritual lens, where I am spirit, I am one with everyone.
This is our biggest challenge in this physical world because being separate seems so real. So everyday I wake up and sit on my meditation pillow, for me a large beanbag, and I have a serious conversation with my Ego mind and God, i.e. Love. I acknowledge my willingness to see things differently, to see things from my higher self, which allows me to live in a space of love, not fear.
Most days I get the opportunity to witness the strength of my Ego mind and consciously make a decision to act out of my higher self. This is the beauty in self-development, you get many opportunities to practice being Love and training your Ego mind. Every time I act out of this higher place in me, it’s because I realize I am a part of much more than myself. My Ego is very selfish, judgmental, and totally believes in the illusion that this physical world is real and I am separate from everyone.
When I act from my Ego mind and judge and control, or I am needy, it always leaves me feeling crappy. The crappy feeling is because when I act from these places, I am not acting out of the best me I know I can be. And if I am judging someone else, I am truly judging myself as well. If my Ego is being needy, it’s coming from a place of lack instead of a giving space of Love.
The universe wants us to be right with ourselves, to heal that wounded part inside of us. This is why it gives us many opportunities through out the day to practice being in alignment. This is a daily meditation practice, starting in the morning, carrying through the day, paying attention to what you are thinking, and closing with a nightly check-in on how you did.
Remember everything we do to others, we are doing to ourselves. We are one!
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
― Albert Einstein
by Debra | Aug 22, 2016
Do you shoot Arrows at Your Partner? Learn how not to in a couple’s retreat.
Blaming our partners for how we feel leaves us without power. We give up our power when we say things like, “You did this to me.” When we put the blame on others, we give them control of how we feel. We cannot change how we feel because to feel better, we need them to change. This is a very powerless place to be.
Blaming leaves us in “victimhood” and victimhood leaves us powerless!
It’s the same thing with judging others. Judging, blaming or making someone else wrong is like shooting arrows at someone else. The problem is, the arrow always comes back to us and does harm. Anytime we throw anger, resentment, or judgment onto someone else, we are actually throwing in onto ourselves. Because we are all One, anytime we do harm to others, we do harm to ourselves.
It’s so important to observe our behavior when we are triggered. Our triggers are a personal barometer that shows us exactly where we need healing. If we react from that place of being triggered, we miss the opportunity for growth and healing and we do more damage to others and ourselves.
Our partners or family members are our best teachers because they are the ones who trigger us most, right? So whenever you are around them, observe how you want to react to these triggers. But keep your heart open so you can stay in a place of love/higher self, not your lower self.
One nice thing about our partnerships is that we can get a lot of practice living in our higher self. If you act out of the lower self, just clean up your mess and keep doing your best everyday. Remember, we are human, so don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, realize why you acted from the lower self and apologize. It’s the defensive behavior that keeps us in the drama and prevents healing of old wounding.
Things you can do to act out of your higher self instead of being trapped in your lower self:
- If you’re triggered, pause.
- Bring awareness to your behavior.
- No matter how you feel, don’t act it out.
- Do a morning and evening meditation to see things differently.
- Set up alarms on your phone to remind you to stay in the present.
- Clean up your mess when and if you do act out of your lower self.
- Find a spiritual teacher to help you identify your needs for improvement.
by Debra | Aug 15, 2016
Why is Living in the Present Moment so Important?
When we are living in the past, we may feel regretful, guilty or we may feel sad. All of these thoughts and feelings bring us suffering. When we live in the future, it may also cause suffering because we are trying to achieve something or get something we don’t have right now. Either way, suffering is going to happen. We can learn from our past, but dwelling on it keeps us in the past and prevents us from learning a lessons.
The only way to truly feel alive is by being in the present moment. We may still suffer because of the story we are telling our self, but it will be easier to bring our self back into alignment through letting go of the story and just being with the feelings.
In a women’s retreat you will learn how the story from your past creates suffering and how to let go of the story to pave a more harmonious path into the future, no matter what is has to offer. You will also learn the importance of living in the here and now and how being fully present will aid in your happiness. Now being fully present may not be possible, but we can walk through our day in mindful meditation, that will show us where are minds are at, at any given moment.
Most of us live primarily in our heads and completely miss this amazing life we are living, along with the important lessons that go with it. For a moment, think about all the beautiful things you can experience in this world on a daily basis. The beautiful sky, the smell of rain, a hummingbird nesting babies, your cat curled up in a tiny ball, a bunch of flowers on your hike, or your child’s expression. When I go into this space of remembering the now, it blows me away. I get blow away not just because of the beauty but the way I feel in the presence of the moment.
It is only in the present moment that we experience being alive.
Life in all of its beauty and fullness is happening in the moment. When the ego mind is active and our thoughts are somewhere else, it’s impossible to experience the here and now fully. Our actual life isn’t experienced completely unless our entire mind and body are present. When our ego mind is chatting away like a crazy person it prevents us from experiencing our life in all of its glory. Even if the moment isn’t comfortable, it’s better to be with the uncomfortable moment fully.
“Do not ruin today with mourning tomorrow.”
― Catherynne M. Valente
by Debra | Aug 8, 2016
Is a Sedona Bed and Breakfast right for you?
There are so many places to stay in this sacred place called Sedona Arizona. I guess it just depends on what you are looking for exactly. Is it a resort feel? Do you like staying in a room in someone’s home? Is it a Best Western or another hotel chain? Is it a bed and breakfast, where you are communing with other guests and the Innkeeper? There is an alternative! What if it was an Inn, with your own private area with a kitchen, bedroom, private Jacuzzi, 2 outdoor patios in a beautiful, lush garden and parking right next to your room?
Me personally, I love staying in quaint places with a kitchen because I love the privacy and I don’t like eating every meal out. I enjoy getting up in the morning, making a cup of coffee and sitting outside with privacy. I might meditate out in the garden before I start my day and then have breakfast out in the patio. My Inn is a place I would love to stay. It’s in the heart of Sedona, in an enchanting environment, where you can walk Uptown. It is a one bedroom with a bathroom and a separate fully stocked kitchen. It has modern furnishings, with 100% Bamboo sheets, queen-size pillow top mattress, with NEW feather top mattress cover. The unit has a bright, clean, feel. The outside patios allow for total relaxation with private jacuzzi, and breakfast patio and beautiful garden to sit in.
Sedona is an amazing place to visit with so much to do. Maybe you are coming to do some emotional healing, a yoga training, visit sacred sites, or go on a vortex tour. If you are looking for a place to retreat, my space and my retreats, may resonate with you. I do rejuvenating retreats, along with intensives for individuals and couples. The shifts I get to witness in clients have been such a gift for me.
Even if you don’t want a retreat, wouldn’t it be nice to stay in a place that was convenient, cozy and totally nurtured you?
by Debra | Aug 1, 2016
Relationships are amazing for our personal growth? Every couple that finishes my couples retreat, gets to experience the importance of being in relationship with their partner.
A client of mine reads a certain teacher whose name I won’t mention and the client read something about relationships being Ugly! My client is pretty anti relationship. So I pulled up a lot of quotes on this teacher about relationships and I could totally see why my client would view relationships as being ugly. This client took what made him feel comfortable out of the learning, as most of us do.
I think from what I read that what was possibly missed was that if relationships are used to feed the lower self, meaning, you are using them because you’re afraid of being lonely, or you need financial support, etc, they can be ugly. Weird to use the word, “Ugly”, anyway.
I think that if relationships for personal growth are used from our lower self, it’s simply because we don’t know any better. When we start to learn the difference between our lower self/ego mind and higher self that is connect to source, we will stop acting out of that lower place and see the value to having conscious relationships.
Relationships For Personal Growth
Being in relationships is where we have the biggest opportunity to learn about ourselves. Do you notice how your partner or family members trigger you the most? It’s because triggers show us where the unhealed parts are.
“Relationships are hospital for the soul, where stuff comes up where we are unhealed. Relationships are an assignment for maximal growth.”
-Marianne Williamson
If we could look at every person and situation in life that triggers us as an opportunity for personal growth instead of getting angry and blaming the person or situation, the world would become a more conscious place.
The personal growth that I have experienced through all my relationships has been dynamic! If I am looking to evolve in this lifetime, I would ask source to bring it on. Bring on any person or situation that will help me see myself more clearly and learn to live in my higher self, even if it brings me pain and suffering. The pain and suffering will show me where I am in my growth.
